Texas... The Place Where Old People Can't Go.

It's certainly not a country for old men that Texas. The film says so. What film? Seriously you haven't got it yet? No Country For Old Men, one of my favourite films to date. I'm watching it while I type this.

But why is it one of my favourites? Why did it win best picture? Well I'll tell you. Josh Brolin, Javier Bardem, Tommy Lee Jones and some brothers Coen. Yup the Coen brothers hit a homerun yet again. Fargo, The Big Lebowski, Burn After Reading (Okay that came after No Country For Old Men but shhh)Yup these guys know what they're doing. And after having a Coen brothers film session, I now notice the little details that make their films unique. The indepth background characters, the camera shots and the plots.

"What do you mean I'm to old to be here?"

Well Javier Bardem is my next point of interest. He won Best Supporting Actor for this film so you'd think he was pretty good. He is. But who or what is the character he is portraying? Drug pusher? Serial killer? Just full out psychopath? I don't know but it doesn't matter. He does it amazingly. Armed with some gas canister thing that can shoot a hole through a mans head he eptimises scary. Yeah this isn't a horror but I promise you, if you met Bardem's Anton Chigurh in the street, you would run like hell; just as much as any horror star.

Josh Brolin now. The calm, relaxed protagonist of this film despite the fact he's being chased by a crazed killer with a silenced shotgun and gas canister. He also produces awesomeness with his quick quirky lines and sawn off shotgun. "I want tent poles." "Well you'll have to get a tent." "I'll have a tent then" "what kind?" "kind with the most poles." Tehehehehehehe makes me laugh. Plus he is a genius. I would never be able to avoid murderous men for as long as he does (though he does have a wicked awesome shotgun battle when they do meet"

The soundtrack... wait... what soundtrack? The lack of emotional score actually creates more emotion, more exitment, more tension.

"Say hello to my little friend."

Overall the film is amazing... So many good sequences and scenes, So many good lines, So much AWESOMENESS. Try watching it without going "My God this film is epic." You can't. Simple truth.

Best bit? The Shotgun shootout in the street. One of my favourite scenes ever.

Timecrimes OR Los Cronocrimenes

You may well have guessed that this film isn't an English language film. That's okay right? We don't mind some subtitles, do we? No. Because one cannot claim to love films without first accepting films in all of its forms and varieties.

Anyhoo. Do you like Time travel? Paradoxes? Naked Women? Crazed bandage wearing freaks? Then boy do I have a film for you! In English it's called Timecrimes though its real name is Los Cronocrimenes, directed by Spanish director, Nacho Vigalondo (His first feature film may I add.) I was first attracted to this film when they showed this picture in Empire Magazine:

Only a real man can pull off pink...

I love crazy, psychotic characters and when I saw those bandages I knew he'd be a good'un. And so I read the article but alas it wasn't that informative.... But HMV had the answer; there it was in the foreign films section for only £3. How could I refuse? I couldn't is the answer. And it didn't disappoint.

The plot is awesome. It feels like one should think more but really you just have to sit back and watch the events occur. It's mind bending nevertheless; How does the loop start? Did any paradoxes occur? Did Hector affect the timeline at all? The simple answers to all these questions is... It doesn't matter. IMDB message boards will answer them correctly but the simple truth is you don't need to know.

Next, the acting. I very much enjoyed Karra Elejalde's change from a mildly grumpy middle aged man to a dark, sinister character as he battles himself for his life. (You'll get it if you watch the film) He travels back in time a couple of hours and has to preserve the timeline and ensure that he (Hector 1) proceeds to carry out Hector 2's actions. Confusing? Nah. Watch it... it'll make sense.

"Damn I knew I should've brought my telescope"

Overall the film is an enjoyable waste of 90 minutes or so. There are some excellent camera shots, an awesome score, some OMG NO WAY moments and some funny times. Also look out for a crew member trying to get out of camera shot at around 4 minutes when Hector picks up the phone.

Best Bit? Another Tricky one but I'm gonna go with The first chase in the woods with the bandaged guy. (See second picture for exact moment.)

Woooooo

Check it out! New header guys! ^^^^^^^^^^^^



Also I'm gonna start rating these films!



I may not review them all.. I watch too many...



For example.. I wont bother to review an awful film; I'll just say:



Meet The Spartans:

See :)

Anyway, thats it for now

Signing off :)

dnalsI rettuhS

Worked out what film it is?

Read the title backwards... yeah... and you get?

Shutter Island!

Okay I'm not feeling creative today :P

So the film. This is gonna be tricky.... Its hard to describe anything about the film without revealing spoilers.... I'll tell you this though; it's very very very good. Leonardo Di Caprio was insane! Spine ticklingly insane. Now, a lot of people worked out how the story would unfold. I wasn't one of those people. I was on the edge of my seat for the majority of the film. I reaaaaaaaaaally want to see it again... Anyone wanna come with? No? Well if you do, email me. I don't know what else to say without ruining the film.... Screw it; I'll wrap it off there.

GO SEE IT! It's worth it 100%

Best bit? Errr.....I'm not sure... It was all so good.... I would say the end.. not the very very end but the end end ya know? That part of the film.. The climax.. Thats the word :)

Signing off :)

You're Whipped *Woootshhh*

Yeah creative name for a change eh?

This is me raving about Whip It...
Despite Empire Magazine deceiving me into believing that Drew Barrymore and Ellen Page made out, it lived up to my expectations and, at points, surpassed them. (Oh and for all those now disappointed that there's no lesbians, Ellen Page still strips in a swimming pool... It is still rather hot)
Annnyyyyyyyhooooooooo I LOVE Ellen Page and Drew Barrymore so this film was great fun. It switches between a coming of age film, with genuinely touching moments, to a fierce comedy with laugh out loud (or LOL for you young people) moments.

Why so good? I'm not quite sure... Everything about it shouldn't work... but it does. The main plot,a beauty pageant queen who decides she likes the violent life of roller derby. The subplot, her mum doesn't like it. That is about it... A couple of cliche twists added in, eg. a boy. Shocker. But why did I like it? Mainly the characters. Ellen Page's character in particular. She connected with the part and made it a lot more real. She is a suburb actress (Check out 'Juno' people) and this continues her outstanding talents. Still my favourite character was the director's. What? You don't know? It's directed by Drew Barrymore! And she plays the aptly named, Smashley Simpson. (Yeah they have awesome names) She brings the most comedy out of the film with great lines like, "Lemme talk to her mum; I'll knock her unconscious." She's violent, funny and also sexy. (But they all are in their costumes)

Speaking of direction, it was one of the best debuts I have ever seen. But then Spielberg is her Godfather and supposedly, at the age of six, she would tell him where to put the camera. Barrymore knew what she wanted and she did it. She also performed in the film which is awesome because she must have been directing while wearing roller skates and a sexy outfit.

The best bit? Not sure.. It's a toughie this time. Oh gotttitt! But its a spoiler.... The best bit is a slap... I cheered when it happened , to the embarrassment of my friends. Keep an eye out for it

Signing off :)

2001: A Space Odyssey.

2001: A Space Odyssey.
What. A. Film.
Dare i say more?
Well i will admit, while I was watching I was feeling... well.. a bit bored. There were loooooong looooong silences, loooooong looooong camera shots and loooooong looooong space journeys. By far the best character was Hal 9000. While he was on screen the film was incredible. But like I said, I was bored. I didn't want to be I swear! I was trying to pay full attention to it... Anyway... It doesn't matter that it was boring. In the following 24 hours i realised that the film was magnificent. The more I thought about it, the better it was. Though I did think throughout the film that the soundtrack and cinematography were excellent. Afterwards, I thought that the science wasn't unrealistic (Good), the characters were spot on (Good) and that the philisophical point of the film was mind boggiling (Amazing).

Stanley Kubrick is still my favourite director and hasnn't dissapointed yet. I still have a few films of his to watch but I expect they'll live up to his standard.

If you like beauty or art, this film is for you. If you like philisophical questions and science, This film is for you. If you are like me and just like all the elements to films (plot, camera work, soundtrack, acting) then this film is for you. If you liked Epic Movie, Meet The Spartans or Disaster movie, this film probably isn't for you. If you don't want to think while watching a film, don't watch this. If you have a short attention span.. again, might not be your cup of tea. But I suggest everyone gives this film a chance; you wouldn't regret it.

Best bit? "They taught me a song. It's called Daisy. Would you like to hear it? Daisy, Daisy give meee youuurr answweerr dooooooo. I'm half crazy alllll foooooor theeeeee looovvveee offf.... youuuu....... it... wont... beeeeee... a stylish... marriage....I caaaaaaaaaaaaan't........afford... a...carridge..............................but..................you'll................... look ..............sweet..........up.....on....the......seeeeeeee-aaaaat....of....a...bi...cy..cle...made..for....two."

Also a most disappointing moment today: The lack of the line "My God it's full of stars!" The whole film I was waiting for it... Only to find out it's in the sequel.

signing off :)

Kick Ass

Well I saw Kick Ass yesterday. I really am speechless... It was INCREDIBLE!

Okay the simple premise: one kid wonders why no-one has bothered to try being a super hero and thus tries it himself. The rest of the plot is full of twist, turns, swear words, death and Adam West impersonating. It was an enjoyable action-comedy-superhero film thing with some absolutely outstanding fight sequences, mostly involving an 11 year old girl!



Well introductions out the way, lets nail on with some form of disjointed review. The whole film was so enjoyable I really want to see it again. Our protagonist, Dave (Aaron Johnson,) was a treat. It's always nice to have a British actor in such a good film, especially one that is so unknown. Lets think.. The last teen British actor to shoot to stardom through one film... Robert Pattinson? "AAAAIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!" Woah! Where'd those teenage girls come from? Anyway, Johnson was suburb fun as the nerd-turn-superhero, Kick Ass, who really seemed to have no clue about.. well... being a super hero. But that's fine. If he did we'd have no need for Big Daddy (Nicolas Cage) and the incredible Hit Girl. While one of the bigger names, Nicolas Cage, Mark Strong or Christopher Mintz-Plasse, would be expected to steal the show it's Chloe Grace Mortez that makes the film amazing. Her role as Hit Girl, Big Daddy's combat trained daughter, is by far the best performance in the film. Most likely the most difficult too... And it's played by an 11 year old!!! Well I suppose she she did have two months combat training behind her... But still... She truly kicks ass... and face.. and torso... and everything... Armed with a strobe light pistol, a double ended sword staff thing, more swords, knives, stun grenades, varieties of guns and witty jokes, she destroys anyone in her path. Why it's a 15 I will never understand... An 18 would be far more suiting...

Best bit of the film? The strobe light, pitch black, warehouse fight sequence in which Hit Girl shows her stuff... But also the whole end fight scene.. that's epic too.. "I'm getting the bazooka.""Bazooka?"

Go See It!!

Signing off :)