Oscars 2017

Here we go again. On the 26th February, Jimmy Kimmel and a host of other screen stars will take to the stage to hand little gold statuettes to the best films and performances of the year. And if you do not have time to watch all of the nominated films, then do not fret. Below is a handy guide to all of your best picture nominees as well as some of the nominees in the other categories. As per the last two years, my co-host Heather will be voicing her thoughts also. Her reviews are below.

Best Picture Nominees:

Arrival

Heather's review: 

 And you thought sign language was difficult.

Fences

Heather's review: 

 I'm all for supporting faithful and committed wives in their struggle to honour their marriages and the covenant made in front of God. But no girl. No.

Hacksaw Ridge

Heather's review: 

 I love a good Jesus movie. Emphasis on the good and the Jesus.

Hell or High Water

Heather's review: 

Ugh, give that one a three. Do not care for Westerns; modern or otherwise. However, I would consider one of those white hats. 

Hidden Figures

Heather's review: 

I like strong women. I like strong black women. I like strong black women who maths the hell out of weak white men. I like astronauts.  

La La Land

Heather's review:

Uplifting, indulgent and nostalgic. Could be compared to the feeling of leaving the dental hygienist: a refreshing and healthy experience. However, you come away with just as much plaque and a desire for a few more whole-cast musical numbers.

Lion

Manchester by the Sea

Heather's review: 

 Have you ever considered buying a fireguard? With multiple features such as stopping large logs on fire rolling out of fireplaces, it is the perfect accessory for any reception room. We will now show you a quick promotional video which highlights the numerous reasons why you should invest in one of these...

Moonlight


Other Nominees:

13th

Hail, Caesar!

Jackie

Kubo and the Two Strings

The Lobster

Moana

Heather's review: 

 The best bit about this movie was not the superb storyline, or the awesome animation, or the stupendous soundtrack. The best part was the fact that the creators of Moana totally get the struggles of long hair. Hoorah for the messy bun.

Suicide Squad


Zootropolis / Zootopia 

Heather's review: 

 The modern equivalent of The Grimm Brother's fairytales. Yo' children should nat be racist.