Which Avenger Is Best ? (Part 3) Iron Man and Thor (Spoilers)

I'll throw a SPOILER ALERT right here again in case you missed it. Below I review each Avenger and some other important characters to decide who the best is. There will be several systems of voting including:

• Badassness - How badass are they? I need some DAYYUMM moments. 
• Wit - Can they make you laugh or banter brilliantly?
• Intelligence - What smarts do they have?
• Heart - Are they a team player? What is their limit? Would the sacrifice themselves for the world?
• Style -  How good do they look while they do what they do?
• Hotness - Hotness impacts how much we want to watch them...

This will hopefully determine the Best Avenger.

Iron Man/ Tony Stark

• Badassness- There's something automatically badass about a man who already has everything and yet still chooses to fly around in a metal suit of armour trying to save the world. He risks his life twice in order to help save the world, he takes out Thor mid sentence. He then continued on to fight Thor (and it was epic and badass) He has lasers in his arms, he tries a new method based on Jonah and the whale, he doesn't fall victim to Loki's brainwashing. Oh yeah, and he hacks into S.H.I.E.L.D Badass rating: 10/10
• Wit- Everything Stark says drips in wit and sarcasm. Creating an original Shakespeare in order to mock Thor, congratulating The Cap and his efforts with modern technology, being confused when Agent Coulson is called Phil ('His first name is Agent') He's just a funny guy and a cocky bastard. They say you have to be smart to be witty... Stark has that down. Wit rating: 10/10
• Intelligence- Inventing a suit of armour that builds itself around you as you walk along a platform is pretty smart. Making it build around you as you fall out of the sky, is pretty smart. Inventing a flying suit of armour in the first place is pretty smart. He hacks into S.H.I.E.L.D and discovers their secrets and his intelligence has made him ridiculously rich. He's the only person that can understand Banner when they talk... science. Intelligence rating: 10/10 
• Heart- Tony Stark does not play well with others. This is evident throughout the film. He's rude, sarcastic, puts everyone at risk by poking fun at banner. Despite all this, he loves Pepper Pots and he risks his life numerous times in order to help or save the team/world. It takes a lot of guts to fly a bomb into a portal to another world that is closing behind you, especially when your suit is almost out of power.  Heart rating: 7/10
• Style- Tony Stark handles everything with a surrounding presence of cool. He offers an evil god of mischief a drink. He flew into the mouth of a giant alien creature and blew it up from the inside. Just everything is done with style. However, his carelessness (particularly with Banner) is stupid. It's not cool and he gets immature. It's a good thing he has those super cool and stylish hologram computers. Style rating: 9/10
• Hotness- Well, he's cocky and that confidence and arrogance is somewhat attractive. However, he is getting on. Again, like Banner, he looks old enough to be half the viewers' dad but I'm sure they all 'would'. Plus he's an action hero and a genius. Rather attractive qualities to most people I am sure.  Hotness rating: 8/10

Thor

• Badassness- Well, he's from a different realm and he's had to get his father to conjure up enough power to send him to Earth and on top of that he's a god. Why did he return? Simply to collect his jackass of a brother. All of that to get his brother. He then proceeds to fight Iron Man and attempts to attack Captain America. When he's involved with the team, he works well with others. No rouge side here, but he'll still kick your ass. Badass rating: 8/10
• Wit- A god does not participate in the childish banter of the mere mortals. In fact, he stands to the side and points out how petty they all are. He just want's to return Loki to Asgard without too much hassle. Evidently, Loki was always the more outspoken one and Thor was a bit more serious. Wit rating: 2/10
• Intelligence- He has knowledge beyond our realm. He understands space and the stars better than any astrologer. But yet, here on Earth, he is a bit out of place. This is mostly shown in his solo movie (smashing coffee mugs, ordering a dog to ride) but, again, his main task is to collect his naughty brother and hand him over to the justice system in Asgard. I suppose you could say his intelligence is relative to the context surrounding him Intelligence rating: 6/10 
• Heart- Family comes first. Always. Despite his brother killing dozens upon dozens of people, he still stands by and states his love for him. He has no wish to kill him, only arrest him. And one of the first things he does when beginning to work with S.H.I.E.L.D is he checks that Jane is okay (from his solo movie). Yes, family and friends are important. But he's also quick to angry or offend. Bless well spoken Thor. Heart rating: 8/10
• Style- He wears a cape. If that's not stylish then I don't know what is. Also, he talks with such grace and grandness that you can't help but love everything he says. He can make his hammer fly around the room into his hand and, oh yeah, his weapon of choice is a hammer. Now that's stylish. He also stops The Avengers mid flight to get his brother back and starts a group brawl. Though he doesn't handle it quite as well as Iron Man. If only he had more cool stunts to do.  Style rating: 8/10
• Hotness- When fully clad in his armour, it leaves a lot to the imagination, perhaps too much. Some girls go crazy for long blonde, wild hair but not all. In his solo movie he is adorable at the same time as being smoking hot. Something about the human clothing that makes him more attractive. The armour seems a bit over the top. But still, look at those arm muscles. It would be impossible to claim they're not hot. Hotness rating: 7/10

Which Avenger Is Best ? (Part 2) Hawkeye and The Hulk (Spoilers)

I'll throw a SPOILER ALERT right here again in case you missed it. Below I review each Avenger and some other important characters to decide who the best is. There will be several systems of voting including:

• Badassness - How badass are they? I need some DAYYUMM moments. 
• Wit - Can they make you laugh or banter brilliantly?
• Intelligence - What smarts do they have?
• Heart - Are they a team player? What is their limit? Would the sacrifice themselves for the world?
• Style -  How good do they look while they do what they do?
• Hotness - Hotness impacts how much we want to watch them...

This will hopefully determine the Best Avenger.

Hawkeye/ Agent Clint Barton

• Badassness- Using a bow instead of another weapon makes you a badass from the go. Using arrows that explode or grapple or other such interesting, unconventional arrow uses is another thing you learn in badass 101. Taking out half of a flying aircraft carrier just with arrows is pretty badass. Not looking where you're shooting and still getting a direct hit is commonly considered as badass. Jumping backwards off buildings is badass, I guess. Oh, and taking out Loki even when he thought he'd beaten the arrow... Badass. Badass rating: 9/10
• Wit- Unfortunately, Hawkeye spends most of his time on screen brainwashed or not speaking. When he does finally get involved in the action, he has a couple of moments that show his wit but mostly he sets up for other people. However, he seems to enjoy hearing the other people being witty which shows he's not devoid of it. Wit rating: 4/10
• Intelligence- A smart soldier. One must be to have the concentration and capability that Hawkeye shows with his archery. Only a smart man could work out the how to take out a flying aircraft characters with limited arrows. ARROWS. That being said, he's not the brains behind any operation, more of a tool in everyone else's war. Intelligence rating: 6/10 
• Heart- Considering for half of the movie he's brainwashed by Loki, we see Clint's heart when he comes back to the good side. His friendship with Natasha. His immediate jumping into the deep end. His regret and self hatred after he realises what's happened. we can see all these things come from his heart being in a good place. He's a dedicated agent and he does not want to slip back into a darker world. Heart rating: 7/10
• Style- Clint has style. As mentioned earlier in the badassery section, he dives out of buildings backwards with only a single arrow to save him, he doesn't always look where he's shooting but he still hits. He even fired at Loki when no one else could get at him. Hawkeye is one stylish mutha effer.  Style rating: 9/10
• Hotness- Hottest when he's doing is frown/scowl. When he smiles it can seem a bit odd. All the cool stuff he does is hot too... Also, when brainwashed, his eyes don't match the rest of him and that is unattractive and somewhat spooky. Without the weird eyes he'd get a eight, with the eyes he gets a six. And so...  Hotness rating: 7/10

The Hulk/ Dr. Bruce Banner

• Badassness- Bruce Banner is a calm guy. Well, he's always angry, but he seems calm. He represses whatever monster is inside of him. Sure, he's a genius but that's a bit rubbish in terms of being a badass. However, The Hulk destroys planes in seconds. The Hulk can make even the bravest people hide. The Hulk smashed Loki into the ground and called him a 'puny god' after using him as a rag doll. The Hulk saved Iron Man's life. The Hulk is almost the definition of Badass. Considering both sides of his personality...  Badass rating: 8/10
• Wit- As Bruce Banner is deeply troubled and angry, he's not the sort of man to participate lightly in jokes. The Hulk, also, is not one to participate in the banter around the office as...well... he's not invited and doesn't talk. Though, Bruce does trick Black Widow into thinking he's gonna blow and he has the occasional dead pan comic line... Wit rating: 2/10
• Intelligence- Well, there's not really a lot to discuss here. Bruce Banner, as described by Agent Coulson, is like Stephen Hawking... A very smart person. No one knows gamma radiation like him. The only reason he's involved with The Avengers is because he's so intelligent. No one understands what he says most of the time... Well, except Stark. Intelligence rating: 10/10 
• Heart- The first time we meet Banner in The Avengers, he's nursing people back to health. He rushes across a town at the whim of a little girl. He then goes to help save the world with his intelligence. He never (really) mocks anyone. He saves Iron Man's life but he doesn't mind smashing the hell out of other good guys as The Hulk. His heart is in the right place when he's banner and sometimes when he's The Hulk.  Heart rating: 8/10
• Style- The Hulk smashes. That is all. Banner gets his work done. That is all. Admittedly, when he controls his transformation into The Hulk, he does it with style and when he is found in a warehouse naked, he handles it with dignity.  Style rating: 3/10
• Hotness- He's getting on a bit. Greying hair and so on. But he's still got those ruggedly good looks even if they're ageing. However, The Hulk is not attractive. Not at all. So, Banner is smart and a bit of a silver fox. Attractive but also has one of those old-enough-to-be-your-dad vibes.  Hotness rating: 6/10 (Hulk - 1/10)

Which Avenger Is Best ? (Part 1) Black Widow and Captain America (Spoilers)

I'll throw a SPOILER ALERT right here again in case you missed it. Below I review each Avenger and some other important characters to decide who the best is. There will be several systems of voting including:

• Badassness - How badass are they? I need some DAYYUMM moments. 
• Wit - Can they make you laugh or banter brilliantly?
• Intelligence - What smarts do they have?
• Heart - Are they a team player? What is their limit? Would the sacrifice themselves for the world?
• Style -  How good do they look while they do what they do?
• Hotness - Hotness impacts how much we want to watch them...

This will hopefully determine the Best Avenger.

Black Widow/ Agent Romanoff

• Badassness- Black Widow/ Agent Romanoff is a secret military agent/ assassin. That's pretty badass on its own. Let alone the fact she can beat up three guys whilst tied to a chair and in her Sunday best. Oh and don't forget killing a guy with her thighs... and using a metal walkway as if it were a gymnast's pole in order to beat the crap out of Clint. She also outsmarts Loki, god of mischief. Yeah, she's pretty badass. Well, until she hides from Hulk... She stops running and panics. That's not badass. Badass rating: 8/10
• Wit- A more serious member of the team. She's not rich, she's not a god, she's not a super soldier. She's just doing her job and trying to erase the red from her ledger. She has some snarky moments 'I don't see how that's a party' but she focuses more on the task in hand than banter. Wit rating: 3/10
• Intelligence- She is smart. She outsmarts Loki, she convinces her opponents that they have the upper hand when she's really getting what she wants. She convinces Banner to come along to join The Avengers and she's smart enough to run when the Hulk comes out. However, she couldn't read Banner when he pretends to be angry and this causes a whole response team to surround the building. Not smart. Intelligence rating: 7/10
• Heart- She begs for Tony to be okay at the end and she's there for Clint every step of his recovery, she cares about her team mates. She even tries to help Bruce when he starts transforming. But when she panics after the Hulk chases her she sits around crying rather than jumping into action to help her fellow man. All this being said, her primary motive is to complete the mission, even if it is because she wants to erase her past. Heart rating: 7/10
• Style- The girl has style. That goes without saying. I mean, fighting three guys in a dress? Killing with thighs? Jumping and flipping past obstacles and onto enemy ships? Yeah, she knows what she's doing and she makes it look good. Even when she panics and runs from Hulk she makes it look good. And her interrogation style is better than any other. Style Rating: 9/10
• Hotness- To claim that Black Widow isn't hot would be a crime. She is fine. All the time. Always. Her being a badass only makes her more sexy. The scene where she is fighting in a dress is boobiful beautiful. Hothothothothothot. The only time when she's not hot is when she gets scared. It takes away from the badass sex appeal. Hotness rating: 9/10

Hothothothothothothot

Captain America/ Steve Rogers

• Badassness- Well, Captain America. The patriotic hero. He's stronger than any other man and can reflect Thor's hammer with a shield. However, he never really jumped up and said, 'look how badass I am'. No he's more of a get the job done and save the world as quickly and efficiently as possible. Though he does break into S.H.I.E.L.D's weapon locker and break up Thor and Iron Man's fight. And he does kick ass. Badass rating: 5/10
• Wit- Again, the Cap is more of a straight player. When there's a cat fight breaking out, the Cap is the one who tries to break it up. Yeah, he's that guy. He doesn't understand the modern jokes. He's from a more serious time when duty was the most important thing. Wit rating: 2/10
• Intelligence- He's a smart guy considering he's 70 years out of his own time zone. He doesn't lack intelligence, he lacks modern understanding. But he knows how to handle a situation. He makes no bad choices and even instructs New York's finest. Though don't let him argue with Stark... He won't understand a word. Intelligence rating: 7/10 
• Heart- America. The heart of the world. Captain America. The heart of the heart. He tries to save everyone. He puts everyone before himself. Even when beaten to a pulp he carries on. He even shields Black Widow with his shield during an explosion. Heart rating: 10/10
• Style- Captain America is all about getting things done. Admittedly, when breaking up Thor and Iron Man's fight, he does it like a pro. He swaggers on in, holds his shield up and half the forest falls down. And there is something extremely stylish about throwing the shield. But mainly, his aim is to help. Style rating: 5/10
• Hotness- Well, in his solo movie, the girl sitting next to me was drooling everytime he was on screen. She did the same in Avengers, but only when he didn't have his head piece on. He's sweet, sensitive, strong, and dedicated. With a super hot body. Hotness rating: 10/10

Can't imagine anyone complaining if
  he gets down on one knee for them...

A Group Of Freaks... To Save The World

2012 was always going to be a year for highly anticipated movies. Batman, The Hunger Games, Men In Black, The Hobbit, Spiderman. But there was one movie that the superhero fan world were preparing for. They'd been preparing since Iron Man 2. They got super excited with the release of Thor. They practically melted after Captain America. Why? Because soon, all of these movies would combine to create the superhero super-team known only as The Avengers. (Well, the film is known as Marvel's Avengers Assemble over here in England)

Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson), Agent Coulson (Clark Gregg), and their team at S.H.I.E.L.D have been trying to harness the power of the The Tesseract which they rescued from the sea when they picked up Captain America. However, it starts to misbehave. Agent Coulson and Nick Fury order an evacuation as The Tesseract opens a portal in space and Loki (Tom Hiddleston), the god of mischief, appears in it. Within seconds several men are dead, Erik Selvig (Stellan Skarsgård) and Agent Clint Barton - aka Hawkeye (Jeremy Renner) - brainwashed onto Loki's side and The Tesseract in the hands of the mischievous god. Loki plans to unleash an army on Earth so that he may rule it. Fury resorts to a desperate method, a project that was abandoned: The Avengers Initiative. With the help of Coulson and Agent Natasha Romanoff - aka Black Widow (Scarlett Johansson) - Fury begins to round up his super team to take down Loki. His team consists of Tony Stark, aka Iron Man (Robert Downey Jr.), Dr. Bruce Banner, aka The Hulk (Mark Ruffalo), and Steve Rogers, aka Captain America (Chris Evans). Thor(Chris Hemsworth_ also decides to join the team but because he believes Loki and The Tesseract should be back in Asgard with him. They name themselves The Avengers and go out to stop Loki and protect the Earth... Or at least make damn sure they avenge it.

hothothothothothothothot (for both genders)

As far as action/superhero/adventure movies go, this one had some solid acting. There were some moments that really stood out. Tony Stark's tears, Hawkeye's realisations, Cobie Smulders  not being Robin from How I Met Your Mother. Some honestly great acting from all involved, but mostly, it was at a level that you would expect from a blockbuster. Tom Hiddleston's Loki takes a step up from Thor in all senses. He's more evil, more delightful, more dastardly, and better acted. He's a joy and a pleasure to watch; everything a superhero should be. Jeremy Renner and Robert Downey Jr. reprise their roles as the two coolest people in the universe with Hawkeye and Iron Man respectively. They both just drip with coolness. Downey Jr.'s laid back response to everything and Renner's pure badassery... Or should I say badarchery? No? Some of the best acting, continuously, comes from Mark Ruffalo as Bruce Banner who seems genuinely pained by his power and what he becomes. It seems like it eats at him and that it is constantly inside him. Scarlett Johansson and Cobie Smulders as Black Widow and Agent Maria Hill respectively both have their moments of excellence, awesomeness, and sexy badassery. They're just hothothothot chicks. And Chris Evans does wonderfully, reprising his role as Steve Rogers. The good guy heart pumps inside him all the time and his extremely funny reactions to modern things are priceless. ('It seems to run on some sort of electricity...')

It was only now, suit in front of him, that Steve realised it...
'How do I get into it?'

Now, there is a layer of brilliance to this film that other blockbusters don't have. It dives straight into it. It's a very short time until people are dying at the hands of Loki. What I love about this is it gives you no time to get bored. It straight away jumps into the action and keeps you engaged the entire time without letting off. just as one action scene is over, another is beginning. And not a small one either, they're big ones.. Massive ones. But don't think it doesn't have a coherent or decent plot line. It tells a great, if not simple, story but it doesn't try to be anything more than that like other movies can try to. As far as action goes, Joss Whedon has found a pretty perfect balance. It's funny, it's touching, it's epic, it's engaging, it's action-packed, it's thrilling, and did I mention it's epic? A brilliantly witty script too with plenty of 'banter' to keep you engaged. A couple of small complaints though. The almost needless 3D is one. Yes, it looked nice at points. However, with so much going on on the screen, it can be difficult to follow and some things looked... well... a bit crap and out of place, visually.  It gave me a bit of a 3D headache, something I've never had a problem with before. The other issue I had was the (very occasional) flat jokes. The things that were obviously thrown in to be funny but so obviously it seemed wasted. A close up shot of a worker changing back to playing games on his monitor when Fury isn't looking is my main example. Someone noticing that in the background is funny. When a whole shot is deditcated to it, it seems immature and a desperate attempt for laughs in an otherwise hilarious script.

When Stark asked, 'What's up?' the two not from
 modern Earth took it a little too literally.

A solid action movie. A solid superhero movie. A solid adventure movie. Funny, action packed, intelligent, and fast paced. It's the sort of movie you could watch again straight after seeing it.  A well written script with great actors. It also is the sort of movie that has so much you can talk about afterwards. I heard people claim it was the best superhero movie ever? I personally disagree. It's excellent. It's the best of it's kind. I personally prefer The Dark Knight as a superhero movie, but each to their own. Don't get me wrong, I will almost certainly buy this on DVD the second it comes out. Also, see my next post for a break down on each of The Avengers and who is the best.

Best Bit? So many good bits. Personally, I adored Thor, Iron Man, and Captain America's fight near the beginning of the movie. It cracked me up and was visually incredible.